"How did you find a surgical mask, I can't even get a dust mask?" I asked.
"Are you kidding? I'm Asian we have hundreds of these at home," he replied with a smile, also informing me that no, I could not have one.
But I did learn that the Asian grocery stores were being avoided like the...ahem... rocks... if you are a ship... errr. Hence, they were still stocked with rice by the ton. I'm not a paranoid person, but you can never be to careful about your food supply when a panic is on. The only rational thing to do in that situation is to panic as well, I told myself as I hefted 80lbs into my cart. Normally I like to linger in these quaint little markets and play the guessing game with the mysteriously labeled packages, but that day there was a sinister look to the arcane lettering and even the Buddha had mocking cast to his porcelain smile. Better find those masks and leave! But unfortunately, although all the employees were wearing masks none were selling them.
Since then a dust mask has had to suffice, since I need my P100 vapor cartridges for paint fumes. I know, the dust mask isn't going to keep out the deadly Corona spawn, but at least it keeps me from touching my nose and rubbing whatever germs I may have on everything I touch. Curiously, the CDC doesn't evince much concern about this as they have not recommended wearing masks. Perhaps they want to preserve the supplies for medical staff and first-responders? In any case, I trust the Asians more so I'll wear what I've got for now. f
It is typical of the response to this pandemic that we are willing to shut-down millions of people's lives indefinitely, yet I'm still talking to cashiers and clerks who look enviously at my pathetic and soiled dust-mask with envy. They are not only in short supply, but they say their employers aren't allowing face protection to be worn. I'm all for the right's of entrepreneurs and business-owners, but those people should be shamed out of town. A cashier is on the front lines too and the cavalier way they are being treated makes me truly pissed... also a bit suspicious of this whole medical kabuki.
Anyway, there was no time to ponder the malfeasance of authority figures, I had more panic buying to do!
Several hours later I returned home with a Ryobi electric chainsaw (for home defense), plastic ten-gallon pots and soil mix (not for growing weed), a new e-cigarette rig and juice, random food (in bulk sizes), a Guinea Pig with cage accoutrements, and a vague sense of embarrassment. It's not the virus I'm freaking out over, I told myself, I'm just freaking out over the freaking out. It's perfectly logical to take precautions when the masses are becoming restless, right?
And so far no luck with the masks. Are they really so hard to produce? I was told by Sherwinn-Williams even just today that there are none in stock and there are no shipments forthcoming. The man hauling my fiver out to the curb speculated that they were being held back for medical use, but he didn't know. It strikes me as on because the packaging states they are not for use in preventing biological contamination or infection. Better than nothing, I suppose, but are our medical staff really getting that desperate? I find it strange, this whole mass of hysterical outpouring, but the most basic weapons of warfare against contagion are not only here, but not even scheduled to get here in the future, More kabuki?
There was certainly a theatrical feeling in the air on the night of March 11th as I logged in to NBA League Pass to watch my beloved OKC Thunder take on the despised Utah Jazz, tied for the 4th seed and therefore our chief obstacle to getting home-court advantage in the playoffs. I was pumped, we were having a Cinderella season and the fiver I bet on a championship at 1000/1 odds was feeling like a good bet, although still a very long shot.
"OOOaaOO-O OOO-aa-OOO-OOO-aa-OO-aa-OOO" THUMPTHUMPTHUMP. The ref was hefting the ball for tip-off the players pacing the floor for position, the crowd of 16,000 Okies OOOing and stomping along to the tip-off music, but suddenly a conference over at the scoring table. The music keeps going, the casters, keep checking the studio for information, the chaos was growing. OOOO-aa-O THUMPTHUMPTHUMP. The camera was panning the audience for amusing individuals and their awkward dancing, but all we could see was increasingly concerned faces as it became more and more obvious something was wrong. The moment had come, the game was cancelled, the season suspended, the people sent home, and the panic had truly begun.
Two days before Rudy Gobert of the Jazz had put his hands all over the reporter's mic and equipment on the presser table to show his lack of concern over the Corona virus. Then he was sick and listed unlikely to play, and finally the game was cancelled due to him possibly having the dread Chinese disease. But I was convinced it was just a flu, after-all there were only about a 1000 cases in the US so what were the odds? I came to regret my overconfident swaggering on the OKC message boards as the news was relayed that he was indeed among the infected. It was all so dramatic, so intense, reminiscent of 9/11 as all the talking-heads of the sports world were apt to say.
But seriously, what are the odds? This is a disease that certainly hit a lot of high-profile people in the early days of the outbreak. I still don't know anyone affected, though as I've been calling people up around the country quite a few of them did have a nasty respiratory bug back in January or even December. I was not particularly "shocked," therefore to see that UK scientists are crunching the numbers in another model that predicts the virus showed-up a month or so earlier than the Imperial College of London models said. These models were distributed into easily meme-able form by the COVID Act Now website and became responsible for the policy decisions that were so extreme that everyone was immediately shocked into an unquestioning certainty that were are living through epoch-forming and "unprecedented" times that will naturally change everything forever, ect.
Epidemiologist Sunetra Guptra, however, thinks that doing some basic science might be a good idea. "We need immediately to begin large-scale seriological surveys -antibody testing- to assess what stage of the epidemic we are now in," she says in the Yahoo summary of the Financial Times report. Why hasn't anyone else thought of that? Are we so busy trying to "flatten the curve" that we forgot to use our scientific methods to determine what the curve actually is? It would make sense that all those the celebrities, athletes, and world leaders were getting it if the virus had landed earlier than was assumed. Or is it just a series of coincidences?
Sadly, I doubt we will ever know. In a Hollywood movie the crack scientists would be ushered through plastic curtains by men in black suits, locked in a fully-operational data center and ordered to find out "What the hell is going on down there!?" Thus would begin that portion of the movie devoted to racing against time to get answers as to what exactly the heroes will face when they move on to the decision making phase and plot resolution. This is not Hollywood and the authorities are not as good at acting: they are taking hugely destructive and draconian measures, but they are barely putting up a pretense of trying to find-out what is actually going on. Haven't they watched the movies? Or maybe the problem is that I haven't been watching enough of the new generation of films with their dumbed-down plots? If we just test a select group of people who voluntarily come to be tested, then surely we won't need a statistical sample size and controls! Just add more numbers, that's how science works! Well it works for Fox News anyway, who I noticed had two tickers last time I popped in to the office: one of cases, ticking up, and one of the Dow Jones, ticking down. Doom and gloom sells, and with all the cash starting to get thrown around what incentive is there for medical institutions to stop building tent-city morgues and get grounded in reality? One way or another, the morgues will get used if this continues...
As it stands, I will continue to take precautions, I urge everyone to follow the example of the Asians and protect themselves no matter what the CDC says. If anyone knows about the cartridge shortage, or wants to correct my ignorant musings, by all means please do. I seek only to be enlightened about why exactly I am stripped of my liberties and comforts (maybe even my literal bread and butter, gotta get those plants inna ground stat). We must question those in power when they encroach further into our lives, or else we may be sure they will go even farther next time. "Corona" morphed into "COVID-19" rather smoothly, almost as if the show was such a hit they wanted to make sure there could be a sequel. COMING THIS FALL: COVID-20, MORE LETHAL, MORE UBIQUITOUS, MORE DOOR-TO-DOOR RAIDS!
